Colton Wants a House

Mr. Suave

C: When I'm 13 and know how to drive, can I buy a house?
Me: You can drive when you're 16, though you probably won't have enough money to buy a house by then.
C: If I get lucky, the tooth fairy will just give me $1,000.
Me: Mmm, the tooth fairy isn't that rich.  Usually you get $0.50 or a $1.  Why do you want your own house?
C: So I can have as much screen time as I want.  And also so it's more quieter. So I don't have babies screaming in my ear all the time.  And if I already have a car, and still have money left over, I'm going to go to a place where they have dogs, and get a little dog.  And I'll also go to the store and get some treats, because my dog might like treats.

Second pair

C: I like these glasses better because they're more in style.
Who is this child?! 

With Apologies to Vegetarians...

C: Let me guess why we're eating chicken.
Me: Why?
C: Because it's getting close to Thanksgiving and we're getting close to eating things that lived.

Colton Earns His Keep

Me: If you do some work on your room, you can earn your allowance.
...
C (finding a penny): Mom!  Today is my lucky day! I earned my own allowance!

Of course I took a picture before helping him

Me (reading folklore): How is this story different than the other stories we read?
C: In the other stories, there's no big wind.
Me (laughing): And how is it the same?
C: The animals talk.