Colton Plays Hide & Seek

Worst hider ever, or easiest game of Hide & Seek ~
C: I'M HIDING WHERE NO ONE CAN EVER FIND ME!
...
C: I'M HIDING ON MY BED UNDER MY THOMAS BLANKEY!

C: You're making me obnoxious!
Translation: you're making me mad!

C: I'm the mom! And I'm older than you!

Me: How old are you? 
C: 16!
Me: And how old am I?
C: 14!

Dad: My, you haven't aged well.

Me: Your dad is mean!

C: No he's not, he's nice!
Hmph!

C: I got a mail card!

Postcard arrived from Oma & Opa!

C: I have a problem.
Me: What's your problem?
C: I don't want to have so many toys.
Me: What a problem to have!

Colton Yucks It Up

C: What did the toast say to the other toast?
Me: I don't know.
C: Nothing! Toast-es can't talk! HAHAHAHAHA!
(and then several more variations of this same joke)

C: Do you know what a stump-a-saurus is?
Me: Nope.
C: It's a tree with a really big stump!

C: Listen to this joke! (sings the Thomas song, Pop Goes the Diesel)
Trucks are waiting in the yard,
Tacklin' them with ease'll

"Show the world what I can do,"

Gaily boasts the Diesel

In and out he creeps about,
like a winter weasel.

When he pulls the wrong cars out,
POP goes the Diesel!

C: But I neeeeed a drink of water.
Me: We don't have drinks of water before bed.
C: But my tanks are empty!
Me: Good.  Fill them in the morning!

Colton on the Park

	C: We have to stand back to back and see how big I am!  I come up to your shirt, Mom!  And in 19 more sleeps I will be bigger than you guys! Dad: That explains the stomach lately.  (growth spurt!) C: Are you in your jams? Me: Yep! C: These are my favorite-favorites! Are those your favorites? Me: Flannel snowmen for the win!  Me: When this is over, let's go to the park. C: But I'm not feeling very well and want to watch more and more TV! Me: We've watched enough today. C: But it's not gonna be sunny. Me: That's okay, we can still go to park. Who argues about going to the park?! Ice cream 'van' drives by ~ C: Oh please-please-please may you buy me some ice cream? I NEED some ice cream! Me: Did you bring your money? C: No. Me: Me neither, so let's go to the store. C: But I want ICE CREAM! I NEED ICE CREAM! [insert toddler meltdown here] Me: Your cookie from the store is in danger unless I hear an attitude adjustment. C: Mom, look, I'm happy!  See how happy I am? Are you happy like me?!

Do Nothing Day

2am, Colton wakes up coughing ~
Me: Do you need a drink of water?
C: But not too much!

Me: Let's put Thomas (stuffed) behind your pillow.
C: But I'm not strong enough to lift heavy things!
I got this for ya!

Dad: He says his tummy is very full.
...

Me: Does your tummy have room to go to lunch, or are you too full?
C: It has plenty of room for chicken and fries!
Of course it does.  LOL

C: Can I give the babies my too-small-shoes?  Then they will have shoes to wear!

Who Is This Child? *

* And why doesn't he want to get messy?!?!

C: But I don't want to get messy!

Me: It's sloppy joes.  This is the one dinner where you get to get messy!

C: Are my babies strong as me?
Me: Nope, they're still very small.  You're much stronger. 
C: Can they lift a pencil?
Me: Nope, when they come out, they won't even be able to hold up their own heads.
C: Yeah, my babies are SLOW.

C: Tomorrow will it be pumpkin time?
Me: Nope your birthday and Mama's birthday come first. 
Pumpkin time = close to due date

C: I can carry the babies for you.
Me: Oh, so can we put them in your tummy?
C: NO!

C: We can't trust logs!  They're not respectable!

I Hate It When I Wake up with a Mustache

Swim class 5/25

C: My buckles won't snap!  I think they're tired.

Me: Are you tired?
C: No, I'm just resting my ear.
Totally out not a minute later... 

C: I know just what the rules are.
Bridger: What are the rules?
C: I can do whatever I want!

C: Tonight, I woke up with a mustache!
(Translation: I woke up this morning with chapped lips)

Excited Much?

First time on the ice!

3am ~
C: Mom, when I wake up, will it be hockey day?!
Me: Yeah, buddy.
C: I want to do hockey first!
Me: You have to wait for Mama to come home from work, and I haven't even left yet.  G'night.

Me: What was your favorite part of the day?
C: Doing Superman Slides! (see video)

Me: Are you tired, buddy?

C: My legs are tired.

Me: I bet.  I'm tired too.  Will you tuck me in tonight?

C: No, you have to tuck me in!

Me: Okay. Will you read me a story?

C: No, you have your own books and know how to read!

Me: Are you sure you don't want to read me a story?
C: No.  But my dad can. 

Colton on Rainbows

 C: I made a rainbow so I can see
one every day! 

(Text comes in)

Me: I bet that's Amy saying she's not going to Body Pump.

C: I'm too silly to go to Silly Pump!

C: We went to the beach!  And know what we had for lunch? It was yummy!  It was a lunch-t-able!

C: You need to sing the rainbow rhyme.

Me: I don't know the rainbow rhyme, sorry.

C: [whispering]  Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet too! Will you sing it?  I just don't know how to sing it loud.

Me: I'm sure you can sing it louder.

C: RED, ORANGE, YELLOW, GREEN, BLUE, INDIGO, AND VIOLET TOO! 

Colton's in Charge

Beach w/ Bridger 5/20

C: Mom, you have to put the picture of your tummy in my room so I can look at it every day! 

Me: You liked taking that picture, huh?  Do you want to help me take another picture next week?

C: No, I just like pictures of Thomas.

C: Are the babies turning in your tummy?

Me: Yep!
C: And can I see them?
Me: You'll be able to feel them pretty soon.  They're too little to feel right now.

C: And are they nakey?

Me: Yep.

It's COLD in there!

C: Why?

Me: There aren't any jammies in my tummy!

C: *giggles*

C: Mom, you're not in charge.

Me: How come?

C: I'm in charge, because I'm a mom!  And you're the dad.  We're both in charge!



Skater Guy Gets His Skates!

C: It's cold on the ice!
Thanks, Capt Obvious!

C: Mom, there's a hockey stage here!

C: I will never get to play hockey!
Me: Be patient, buddy.  We have to get your gear first.
C: I DON'T LIKE TO BE PATIENT!
Me: Clearly.


C: I'm grumpy because I want to play hockey right now!

Me: We're just renting gear tonight, kiddo.  You start hockey on Monday.

C: When I wake up?

Me: Nope.  In a few days.

C: What are those?

Me: Diapers.
C: Where did they come from?
Me: The diaper store.
C: And Mom, when are our babies going away?
Me: They're not, buddy.  They're coming to stay and be a part of our family.
C: And when they come, I want a new trampoline!
Priorities, priorities.

Colton Brings out the Sun!

C: Being really useful makes the sun come out!
Thank goodness!

C: Why is there a cactus there?
Me: That's a sign for Taco Time.

C: Oh.

Me: We saw real cacti in Phoenix.

C: Did I touch them?

Me: I don't think so.  They're pretty prickly.

C: Mine aren't.  I make them warm and fuzzy like a nap!

Me: I see.



C: We must do a lot of hard work today and then we can have a nap.
Hallelujah!

C: Are you happy like me that the sun is out?
Me: You betcha!

Colton on Babies

                                                                     

Dad pops his knee ~
C: Did you just break yourself?

C: And Granddad!  We're gonna have babies!

C: I'm the mom!
Me: Oh, and where are your babies?
C: In your tummy.
LOL!  Well duh, Mom!

Me: What should we call your babies?
C: Jamie!
Me: That's Sarah's baby.  We can't do that.

                                                                     

Colton to the waitress @ Red Robin ~
C: And teacher? I want a blue balloon!

C: Do you know what this round thing is?
Me: No. What is it?
C: It's a lion cage. And it's no fun being in a lion's cage.

Colton on What to Eat

Spreading some dandelion
cheer all along the Interurban

C: I want to eat something that isn't messy for dinner.
Me: Like what?
C: Mac & cheese!

C: Mom, I have to tell you something really special.
Me: Uh-huh?
C: How 'bout we get a different kind of cereal?
Me: You have to talk to Dad about that.

Me: I do listen sometimes.
Dad: Just not when I'm talking!
Me: It was hard to hear you since someone else was talking.
Dad: Oh, I see who's more important.
C: I'm important!

Me: Colton, do you think we're going to have girl babies, boy babies, or one of each?
C: BOYS!
Dad: *groan*

Colton on Old McDonald

  I asked him if he wanted his
noodles cut.... 

C: My mom has 3 letters in her name.
Jordan: No, she has 4. M, A, and (the sound of) gn!

C: I'm going to sing you a silly song, Mom!  Old McDonald had some pants, E-I-E-I-YOINK!   Hahahahaha!
 
Text from Dad: Apparently today I'm the son, you're the dad & C is the mom.
I'm feeling so manly today. 


he declined.

C: If you need help with your buckles, I will help, because I'm the mom! 

C: When will Dad be home?

Me: Late tonight.

C: And if I worked where Dad does, I would be late too. And I would miss you!

Me: I would miss you too, buddy.
C: Oh, thanks!

Colton Is Big and Strong

C: If you don't want to be a loser, you have to be Rapunzel!

C picked the most awesome hiding spot today.  He saw me drive up and I saw him say "I've gotta hide!" so he crouched down, in the middle of the lawn and hid his eyes ~ not bothering to hide his body or anything.  Made me laugh!

C: Badoop-boop-boop!
We say this when we want the remote-holder to fast-forward the Tivo.  C says it while running circles around the kitchen island. 

C: I am bigger 'n stronger than you!  I come up to your shirt!

C: I'm the dad!
Me: Who is Dad then?
C: Our son.
Me: Uhhh...

Colton Throws Dad Under the Bus

Children's Library

C: I'm faster than a jet-engine-rocket-runner! 

Me: Looks like the peas are starting to grow.
C: Yippee!

C: And I'm gonna break this house!
Me: Why?
C: Every time you make me dry my hands, I don't like it!
The horrors!

Me: What'd you have for breakfast today?
C: We got a NEW kind of special cereal and it's colorful!
Dad: Worst. Secret-keeper. Ever!
Cereal in question: Froot Loops.

Colton Does Mother's Day

                 Mmm, Dutch Babies!               

C: This was not my plan!
Upset at restaurant choice & so very like his mother!

C: I'm just gonna sit here and not do anything! 
Complete with pouty face.

C: I'm confused at why I didn't get any salad.
Me: Because you didn't eat it, buddy, and the waitress took it away.

C chucked his toy at me, so I ended story time abruptly..
C: Does this mean you don't like me anymore?
Break my heart :(

Colton Is Generous

C: There’s my Nana!
(jumps out of the van)
Hey, my Nana! I’m trying to ask my Nana something.
(runs up to Kathy)
Uhm, my Nana, my Dad got a new CAR!

C: Here’s a song about Thomas and the dark. Here we go! Boo! ... Toot! Can you know the rest?
Me: No, buddy, sorry I don’t know that song.
C: Maybe my Opa does.

C: Do you want to pick out some of my Thomas underwear?
Me: No thanks, they're a little too small.
C: But maybe you can borrow some when I'm an adult.

C: I'm gonna go get some socks on, and then come back to show the kitty how stinky my feet are!

C: I wish all my family could come to my house with Jordan.
Me: Who all is in your family?
C: Sarah... and everyone I can remember their names!

Colton Sings a Song

C: Does Dad work where you work?
Me: No, we work in the same city, but in different buildings.
C: What time will he be home?
Me: Late tonight.
C: So we'll beat him home!  But if I went to his work, I'd be late.

C: Can you sing this song, Mom?  There is a hole; the prettiest hole that ever did see; and the green grass grows around; and in the hole, there was a seed; the prettiest seed that ever did see.  And something very tall did grow!  It was a tree!  I can't know the rest. Do you know that song? 
Me: That was a great song, buddy.  We'll have to look it up and then I can sing it with you!

C: Does my Justin work at your work?
Me: He used to, but now he works at his church. 

C: When my babies come, I will show them around!
Me: Thanks, buddy, that would be really helpful!

Me: And tomorrow your Opa is going to come stay with us?
C: Forever?
Me: Just for a night.

C: My pop-si-sicle is cold!

C: I enjoyed my pop-si-sicle!  Just save some of your ice cream so you can lick it off.

Colton on Feeling Better

Me: You need to get better.
C: Yeah, because I don't eat good food.

C: Why did the castle be late?
Me: I don't know, why was the castle late?
C: Because the eight legs didn't help!  Hahahahah!

Me: Want some grapefruit?
C: Is it the red stuff that's in the middle?
Me: The wha?  No, it's a sour, orange-like fruit.
C: Oh. It's too sour.

C: Maybe, since it's a nice summer's day, I won't have to wear a shirt.
Me: It's a little too cold to go shirtless yet.  Go get dressed! (46F)

C: Why do you wear a swimsuit like that?
Me: Because I'm a girl.
C: Pretty soon I'll be an adult boy and can wear a swimsuit like that.
Me: You don't have to wear a swimsuit like this, buddy.  Boys don't have to cover their chests.

C: Mom, I don't like you when you tell me what to do.
Me: That's okay, you don't have to like me all the time.

Colton on Life, the Universe & Everything

C: I think snow is splendid! 
Dad: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO more snow!
C: Yeah, my dad is done with snow and I love it.  And sun!

C: Mom, you're my best friend, so I always listen to you. 
There, I have it in writing!

C: Hey Mom, everything is getting old.
True kiddo, too true.

Me: That's where Mom & Dad used to live before we got married.
C: But I'm not married.
Me: Nope, not yet.  We didn't have you when we lived there.  We didn't even have Shrek.

C: Which Shrek?
Me: Our Shrek.
C: Oh. Is Shrek gonna get married?
Me: No, puppies don't get married.

C: On Mom's Day, I'm gonna help you open your present!
Dad: Too late. I just gave it to her.
Me: Thanks, buddy, but I just opened it. 
Woot for a new camera!  Thank you, honey!