Colton Reads in Spanish

Mom's old Kindle being put to good use!

C: Mom? Will you take my boots off. They're too dirty for me.
Me: Oh thanks.

C: Mom! I read my first Spanish word! So-co!
Me: Close, Suduko. And it's Japanese, bud.

C (wearing a laundry basket on his head): Now I have something to entertain me when I'm coming down the stairs.

C (reading the menu): I can read it with my super x-ray eyes.
Dad: When did you get those installed?
C: Just now.
Dad: I see. With what money?
C: I've got money in my mind.
Me: Oh good, so you can pay for dinner.  

C: I'm starting to become a super hero!  Just look at my cape!

C: Now Dad's probably not going to win this.
...  Dad has no way of winning this game!
Gosh, Dad is easily defeated when he's not there to play!

Colton on Santa

Dad: Let's go get you a haircut.
C: Are you kidding? I'm almost bald right here!

C: The reason there's less and less candy on here is because Santa keeps coming.

C: Dad, I just need some plugs or batteries to finish building my train to go around the Christmas tree.
Dad: Do you have an electric train to go on it?
C: No, but we could make one.
Dad: I appreciate the enthusiasm, but that's a lot harder than it sounds.
C: So you could help.

Colton's Secret Identity

Decorating Granddad's tree ~ the tongue helps.

C: It's hard for people to tell me apart because I look like a Ninja Turtle, but I'm a human.

C: I know the reason the sushi store isn't open on Sunday is because they have to make more sticky rice.

Part cat?

First tooth!

C: What are you going to ask Santa for?
Me: Hmm, what should I ask him for?
C: Things that give you hugs, so it will remind you of me.

C: I have a secret that Bridger can't know. I'm really a ninja, okay? But you can't tell Bridger.

Sick day 😥

C: I'm already freezing because it's been a long time since I wore this coat, and it needs to get used to the cold.

Second tooth!

Colton Wants a House

Mr. Suave

C: When I'm 13 and know how to drive, can I buy a house?
Me: You can drive when you're 16, though you probably won't have enough money to buy a house by then.
C: If I get lucky, the tooth fairy will just give me $1,000.
Me: Mmm, the tooth fairy isn't that rich.  Usually you get $0.50 or a $1.  Why do you want your own house?
C: So I can have as much screen time as I want.  And also so it's more quieter. So I don't have babies screaming in my ear all the time.  And if I already have a car, and still have money left over, I'm going to go to a place where they have dogs, and get a little dog.  And I'll also go to the store and get some treats, because my dog might like treats.

Second pair

C: I like these glasses better because they're more in style.
Who is this child?! 

With Apologies to Vegetarians...

C: Let me guess why we're eating chicken.
Me: Why?
C: Because it's getting close to Thanksgiving and we're getting close to eating things that lived.

Colton Earns His Keep

Me: If you do some work on your room, you can earn your allowance.
...
C (finding a penny): Mom!  Today is my lucky day! I earned my own allowance!

Of course I took a picture before helping him

Me (reading folklore): How is this story different than the other stories we read?
C: In the other stories, there's no big wind.
Me (laughing): And how is it the same?
C: The animals talk.

Colton Does Halloween

Colton is Jet-Vac from the Skylanders,
not a chicken like some folks thought tonight.  LOL!

C: I was thinking, since you've been so nice to me today, that you could cuddle me every chance you get.

C: All this Halloween is making me not want to brush my teeth!

C: And remember, Jordan, that I can't run because I only have 4 toes!

Colton in Huh, What?

Me: Why don't you have any clothes on?
C: I got distracted.


C: I found a word that rhymes with keys!
Me: Yeah?
C: Please!  They both have the word ease at the end!

Me (looking in on C, who was looking at the answer key to the word search): What are you doing?
C: I'm looking back here to help me spell.

Colton Logic at Its Finest

Moose kisses!

Me: Aw, sad.  Your skeleton sweatshirt looks like it's getting small.  You need to stop growing.

C: Are you just being silly?

Me: No, I'm serious.  I don't know what I'm gonna do with a big kid.

C: Buy me grown-up shoes?

C, Granddad & Grandma ready to run the 400m!

Me & the monkey Little wet on race day.

Jet-Vac is ready to run!

Dude has been busy!

Colton in the Park with Diamonds

C: Wouldn't it be nice if we had a dog rack to put the dogs?
Me: That's usually frowned upon.


Colton finds a plastic diamond at the park ~
C: MOM!  How would you like to be rich?

C: MOM!  Hold my diamond so I can go play!


C: I knew there was buried treasure there, because there was a hole.

C: I can tell it's real, because when I rinsed it off, I saw it was real!


C: I'm richer than you!
Me: Yeah?  What are you going to do with all your riches?
C: Buy stuff, and pay bills.
Me: What bills does a 6 year old have?
C: When people make you pay stuff to buy stuff.
Me: Yeah, that's usually how that works.
C: Like when Dad bought my bear and took money out of my wallet.
Me: Like when you paid Dad back for buying the bear?
C: It's not fair that people take your money for no good reason!
Me: He had a good reason, you were paying him back!

C: I have $501.10 and do you know how much that is?

Me: $501.10.  And what are you doing to do with all your riches?

C: Buy Skylanders and stuffed animals.  I can buy 14 Skylanders and 19 stuffed animals before I'm poor.  

Colton Makes Me Feel Old

C: Back in the old days, like back in the 80s, people used to send messages in a bottle.
Me: They sometimes still do that.
C: But it doesn't always get to where it's supposed to go.
Me: Right, it's not a very reliable way to send mail.

Me: Were you tired this morning after your late night out?
C: Yeah, you know how hard it is going to school.

C: When is Santa coming so we can talk to him?

Me: In December.  We have to get through Halloween and Thanksgiving first. 

C: NUH-UH!  That's not fair! 

C: The boys are just ruining my track!  

Me: They're not even down here.

C: I mean, they did it earlier!  Without even realizing it!

Me: Sorry, bubba.  You'll just have to figure it out.
....
C: MOOOOMMM!  This is why I didn't want brothers!  

C: When I'm a grown up, I'm gonna get more of this!  (Dad bought C a Green River soda)

The Winter of Colton's Discontent

Me: Sarah will be here in a little bit.  Jason and Jordan are going to the dump.
C: Aww, but I wanted to go to the dump!  Maybe they'll go again tomorrow.

C: Mom? Can we take your car tomorrow?
Me: Sure, I guess.  Why?
C: So we can have the new mints Dad bought.

C: YAY! I'm so excited for winter!
Me: Why?
C: Because it's almost Christmas.
Me: And why are you excited about Christmas?
C: I might get another Skylander! Unless I have them all by then.

Dad: God help us when he DOES actually have all the Skylanders...

C: You know what I learned about homework? I don't have to read to you.
Me: You can read to us, or we can read to you. It all counts.
C: Good, because I don't really like reading.
Me: I like it when you read to me.
C: Well, I don't.
Me: I'll make you a deal, I'll read half and you can read half.
C: THAT'S NOT FAIR!
Me: It's not up for discussion.
C: YES IT IS!

...

C: What are you doing?

Me: Writing to your dad.  You would know if you liked reading.  

Really Colton? Really?

C: Did you really make really real fries?  Because that's what I really wanted!
Me: Really?
(C has never been impressed by squash fries.

C: You know what would be nice?
Me: What?
C: To have a family night.
Me: What do you want to do for our family night?
C: We should all go to a restaurant and have dinner.
Because we never go out to eat.... 

Me: I just want you to know that I will have to take down that train track tonight after you go to bed.
C: Why?
Me: Because we have to eat at the table, buddy.
C: *sob*  Will you take a picture and frame it so I never ever forget it?
Me: Oh sure.

C: They're out of boy toys!
Me: Sorry... You can pick something from what's there, or not.  Your choice.
C: I think I'll just get these mermaids because they're nice to have.
Me: Alright.