Colton Goes to Green Lake

C: Dad! We're having peanut butter and NEW JAM, but my mom didn't let me have a napkin under my food.
Me: It's not even 9am and he's thrown me under the bus.  It wasn't a matter of not letting him, I just didn't think to do it. 

Me: Do you want me to hold your juice box?
C: Yeah!  Don't let anyone drink it because you're not their mom!  Would that be funny if you were everyone in the world's mom?
Me: That'd be a lot of responsibility!

C: See how dizzy we are?

Me: Nice job playing with your friend.
C: Yeah, he's my friend and we didn't hit or fight!

C: We're gonna have lunch pretty soon because I'm hungry.  You could come to lunch with us!
Lady at the park: Thanks for inviting me, but I didn't bring any money today.
C: Well, I have some. And you could share my mom's!
Lady: You should probably save your money.
C: Yeah, because I need to buy more trains!

C: I need some fish eated in my tummy! 
Mmm, Spuds!

I Have It on Good Authority...

... that I know everything!

C: Mom? You know.
Me: What do I know?
C: You know everything!

C: You need to drive slowly and carefully.
Me: I am, buddy.
C: You need to drive slowly because I am getting so heavy, and can't go fast.
Me: Oh?
C: Yeah, and I might fly away.

C: Mom, are you driving carefully?
Me: Yeah, buddy.
C: Thanks for keeping it together!
(Much funnier out of context... but in context, he was very worried about the eggs cracking that we gathered today)