Colton's Not Gonna Play with Me

Yum?

C: I need some water because my mouth is too spicy!
Me: That was the pepper on your popcorn.
C: I don't like pepper.
Me: You ate the whole bag of popcorn and are just now deciding you don't like it?
C: Yeah.
Me: I see.
Salt + pepper popcorn.  Try it.  It's tasty!

C: I'M NOT GONNA PLAY WITH YOU UNTIL A WEEK!  I'M NOT GONNA PLAY WITH YOU TIL THE BABIES COME!
Meanest mom in the world strikes again.  I made him slow down in an attempt to keep him from breaking himself. And because it was right before bed and I didn't feel like hauling him in for stitches!
 
C: I'm going to be really brave!  Was that brave or just really tricky?

Me: No jumping up here or you'll be kicked off.
C: I don't like it when I be kicked.

C: Look at how big my belly is!
Me: Wow.  Look at how big my belly is!  Is that the biggest belly you ever saw?
C: No, it has to be big enough for me to get inside!
Eep!!!