We Do Not Eat Our Cartmans

  Head stand on the couch     

Me: I'm really hungry, should I eat Cartman?
C: No, he's made of dohs!  (doh=dog fur)

C: I'm screwing a lot of stuff!
Uhh...  (he was using a screwdriver)

C: I don't want to sleep in my old bed!  I'm going to wait to sleep til my bunk beds come! 

C: I really love Red Robin! It's my favorite place!

C: It's not melon, it's 'lope! (cantaloupe)

Me: What was your favorite part of the day?
C: Eating my fries.

C: I smell popcorn!  (after the pizza came out of the oven)

Dad: Uncle Justin is here!
C: Huh?
Dad: UNCLE JUSTIN IS HERE! Are you deaf?
C: Yeah. Just don't yell.

C to Lisa: You need to go back to the couch and talk!