Colton Goes to Green Lake

C: Dad! We're having peanut butter and NEW JAM, but my mom didn't let me have a napkin under my food.
Me: It's not even 9am and he's thrown me under the bus.  It wasn't a matter of not letting him, I just didn't think to do it. 

Me: Do you want me to hold your juice box?
C: Yeah!  Don't let anyone drink it because you're not their mom!  Would that be funny if you were everyone in the world's mom?
Me: That'd be a lot of responsibility!

C: See how dizzy we are?

Me: Nice job playing with your friend.
C: Yeah, he's my friend and we didn't hit or fight!

C: We're gonna have lunch pretty soon because I'm hungry.  You could come to lunch with us!
Lady at the park: Thanks for inviting me, but I didn't bring any money today.
C: Well, I have some. And you could share my mom's!
Lady: You should probably save your money.
C: Yeah, because I need to buy more trains!

C: I need some fish eated in my tummy! 
Mmm, Spuds!

Colton's Not Gonna Play with Me

Yum?

C: I need some water because my mouth is too spicy!
Me: That was the pepper on your popcorn.
C: I don't like pepper.
Me: You ate the whole bag of popcorn and are just now deciding you don't like it?
C: Yeah.
Me: I see.
Salt + pepper popcorn.  Try it.  It's tasty!

C: I'M NOT GONNA PLAY WITH YOU UNTIL A WEEK!  I'M NOT GONNA PLAY WITH YOU TIL THE BABIES COME!
Meanest mom in the world strikes again.  I made him slow down in an attempt to keep him from breaking himself. And because it was right before bed and I didn't feel like hauling him in for stitches!
 
C: I'm going to be really brave!  Was that brave or just really tricky?

Me: No jumping up here or you'll be kicked off.
C: I don't like it when I be kicked.

C: Look at how big my belly is!
Me: Wow.  Look at how big my belly is!  Is that the biggest belly you ever saw?
C: No, it has to be big enough for me to get inside!
Eep!!!

Colton Goes to Swim Class

Colton's new do!

C: Look, the ooper-dooper-long-car is here! (limo @ swim lessons)

C: Did you see me when I swimmed under water?
Me: Yeah, that was awesome, buddy!

C: Are we gonna beat Dad home tonight?
Me: Yeah.
C: Is he going to be home at 7:30?
Me: Not tonight, he's going to the gym.
C: What time is his class over?
Me: Oh, probably 11.
C: Wow, is that after night?
Me: Yeah.
C: Yeah, his energy will shrink.

Colton Decides What's Blogable

Gymnastics 8/9

15 minutes before Dad's alarm ~
C: GUYS, I NEED TO GET UP BEFORE 4:30!!!

C: Mom, can we go to the gym?
Me: Not tonight, kiddo.  I don't have a class.
C: But, I need to go to the gym so I can exercise!

C: This is blogable!
As he jumps onto the couch approximately 5 seconds after being asked not to.

Me: We don't get something new just because someone else did.
C: FINE THEN, I'M JUST GONNA STARE AT YOU!
Me: Okay.

Colton Does Tuesday

C: I need this chop-stick to chop my mustache!  (chapstick)

Me: Ugh, somebody's car is stinky!
C: Yeah, Bridger just had some gas in his tummy. 

C: I'm just gonna sit here until my owie is gone.  It's gonna take a few days or a few nights.

C: Are you resting on your knees?
Me: I said I'm looking at a recipe!

C: Africa is on my world spinner!

What Comes First?

C: Do you like it when there's a coconut in your head?

Dad: Ask him where the coconut came from.
C: From an acorn!
Me: And where did the acorn come from?
C: A tree. And the tree came from a log. And the log came from a seed. And the seed came from the dirt. And the dirt came from a hole.
Me: Who put the hole there?
C: Coconuts did!

Running upstairs to wash his hands after finger-painting ~
C: And I will race as fast as I can!
Me: Just walk carefully and don't touch anything.
C: I'll just go to the speed limit. I'm going 5.
Me: That's a good speed.

C: My Nanan just turned 3 because she wanted to be 3. And I just turned 4, so my Nanan says I need to do the work. And my Nanan is 3, so she needs to play.

Mom? Mom? Mom?

Today's version of the book covering your face?

Me: Want me to water you, to see if you'll grow?
C: No, I need lots of nuts and seeds to grow up big and strong!

C: Mom, I didn't know you could get up! 
LOL, he meant he didn't know I was awake.

Me: Colton? Colton? Colton? Colton? Colton? Colton? Colton? Colton? Colton? Colton? Colton? Colton?
C: Why do you keep saying that?
Me: Because all you've said all day is Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?
C: ...  Mom?

C: I'm gonna pay you home! 
Playing Trouble with Oma.  (pay her back / send her piece home)

Colton Grows a Beard

C: My cold is gone because I slept so long! Is that interesting?

C: I'M NOT GONNA PLAY WITH YOU ANYMORE! I'M NOT GONNA PLAY WITH YOU UNTIL A WEEK!
I had the nerve to ask him to go wipe his nose.

C: My sandals are staying out there til they dry off!

C: MY BRIDGE IS JUST A MEAN BRIDGE!
Me: Why is it mean?
C: Because it keeps falling down! And it just doesn't keep its supports in order.  That's why it's a mean bridge! 

C: I wish we could have one and a hundred babies!
Me: I don't.  That's too many babies!

C: I want you to listen to me because I'm the youngest!

Making nose and lip prints @ the spray park

Colton Is Ready to Exercise

Colton comes in from eating a fudgesicle on the porch...
with peas and blueberries in his hands.  Uh, yum?

8:30am ~
C: But it’s too early for me to be awake!
Dad: Do you want to go back to bed?
C: Yeah.
Dad: Ok, buddy. (leaves the room & takes 2 steps down the stairs)
C: OK, I’m done now!

Bridger: You're a party pooper!
C: No, I'm the pride of the party!

C: I wish that I could play basket-hoop-ball, just like my sticker!

Colton takes exercising as seriously as Mama does, obv!

C: I wish this day would never come for one-zero-nine days.

C: How do you make this water into milk?  You put this bubble into the water to make the "meh" (m) and then you put in this water with the bubbles in to make the "eh" sound.  And then the bubbles have to go to the bottom, and then you have to melt it.  How do we melt bubbles?  See?  And that's how we make m-eh-elk!

Me: Let's read Horton.  We haven't read this story in a long time.
C: Yeah, but it's kinda expensive!

Busted!

Colton is caught blue-handed!
(Scooping his Slurpee out with his hands)

C: We had chocolate pudding two times, but Nanan told me not to say it to you.
Me: Did anyone tell Nanan that you're the worst secret keeper ever?

C: And I had candy! That was grape, and green, and purple, and two oranges!
Dad: Is this in addition to the pudding you weren't supposed to tell Mom about?
C: Yeah!

C: I'm going to to be a teacher when I get super dooper ooper big!
Me: Are you going to teach swimming, or kids at preschool?
Dad: Or hockey?
C: I'm gonna teach the kids to go down the slide on their bellies, and then go bumping down, and then jump into the ball pit! And then I'll show them to hide behind signs and run into the forest-es so no one can hear us!

C: Know what I extra-dooper want for breakfast tomorrow? Pancakes with waffles on top!