Colton Plays Hide & Seek

Worst hider ever, or easiest game of Hide & Seek ~
C: I'M HIDING WHERE NO ONE CAN EVER FIND ME!
...
C: I'M HIDING ON MY BED UNDER MY THOMAS BLANKEY!

C: You're making me obnoxious!
Translation: you're making me mad!

C: I'm the mom! And I'm older than you!

Me: How old are you? 
C: 16!
Me: And how old am I?
C: 14!

Dad: My, you haven't aged well.

Me: Your dad is mean!

C: No he's not, he's nice!
Hmph!

C: I got a mail card!

Postcard arrived from Oma & Opa!

C: I have a problem.
Me: What's your problem?
C: I don't want to have so many toys.
Me: What a problem to have!

Colton Yucks It Up

C: What did the toast say to the other toast?
Me: I don't know.
C: Nothing! Toast-es can't talk! HAHAHAHAHA!
(and then several more variations of this same joke)

C: Do you know what a stump-a-saurus is?
Me: Nope.
C: It's a tree with a really big stump!

C: Listen to this joke! (sings the Thomas song, Pop Goes the Diesel)
Trucks are waiting in the yard,
Tacklin' them with ease'll

"Show the world what I can do,"

Gaily boasts the Diesel

In and out he creeps about,
like a winter weasel.

When he pulls the wrong cars out,
POP goes the Diesel!

C: But I neeeeed a drink of water.
Me: We don't have drinks of water before bed.
C: But my tanks are empty!
Me: Good.  Fill them in the morning!

Colton on the Park

	C: We have to stand back to back and see how big I am!  I come up to your shirt, Mom!  And in 19 more sleeps I will be bigger than you guys! Dad: That explains the stomach lately.  (growth spurt!) C: Are you in your jams? Me: Yep! C: These are my favorite-favorites! Are those your favorites? Me: Flannel snowmen for the win!  Me: When this is over, let's go to the park. C: But I'm not feeling very well and want to watch more and more TV! Me: We've watched enough today. C: But it's not gonna be sunny. Me: That's okay, we can still go to park. Who argues about going to the park?! Ice cream 'van' drives by ~ C: Oh please-please-please may you buy me some ice cream? I NEED some ice cream! Me: Did you bring your money? C: No. Me: Me neither, so let's go to the store. C: But I want ICE CREAM! I NEED ICE CREAM! [insert toddler meltdown here] Me: Your cookie from the store is in danger unless I hear an attitude adjustment. C: Mom, look, I'm happy!  See how happy I am? Are you happy like me?!

Do Nothing Day

2am, Colton wakes up coughing ~
Me: Do you need a drink of water?
C: But not too much!

Me: Let's put Thomas (stuffed) behind your pillow.
C: But I'm not strong enough to lift heavy things!
I got this for ya!

Dad: He says his tummy is very full.
...

Me: Does your tummy have room to go to lunch, or are you too full?
C: It has plenty of room for chicken and fries!
Of course it does.  LOL

C: Can I give the babies my too-small-shoes?  Then they will have shoes to wear!

Who Is This Child? *

* And why doesn't he want to get messy?!?!

C: But I don't want to get messy!

Me: It's sloppy joes.  This is the one dinner where you get to get messy!

C: Are my babies strong as me?
Me: Nope, they're still very small.  You're much stronger. 
C: Can they lift a pencil?
Me: Nope, when they come out, they won't even be able to hold up their own heads.
C: Yeah, my babies are SLOW.

C: Tomorrow will it be pumpkin time?
Me: Nope your birthday and Mama's birthday come first. 
Pumpkin time = close to due date

C: I can carry the babies for you.
Me: Oh, so can we put them in your tummy?
C: NO!

C: We can't trust logs!  They're not respectable!

I Hate It When I Wake up with a Mustache

Swim class 5/25

C: My buckles won't snap!  I think they're tired.

Me: Are you tired?
C: No, I'm just resting my ear.
Totally out not a minute later... 

C: I know just what the rules are.
Bridger: What are the rules?
C: I can do whatever I want!

C: Tonight, I woke up with a mustache!
(Translation: I woke up this morning with chapped lips)

Excited Much?

First time on the ice!

3am ~
C: Mom, when I wake up, will it be hockey day?!
Me: Yeah, buddy.
C: I want to do hockey first!
Me: You have to wait for Mama to come home from work, and I haven't even left yet.  G'night.

Me: What was your favorite part of the day?
C: Doing Superman Slides! (see video)

Me: Are you tired, buddy?

C: My legs are tired.

Me: I bet.  I'm tired too.  Will you tuck me in tonight?

C: No, you have to tuck me in!

Me: Okay. Will you read me a story?

C: No, you have your own books and know how to read!

Me: Are you sure you don't want to read me a story?
C: No.  But my dad can. 

Colton on Rainbows

 C: I made a rainbow so I can see
one every day! 

(Text comes in)

Me: I bet that's Amy saying she's not going to Body Pump.

C: I'm too silly to go to Silly Pump!

C: We went to the beach!  And know what we had for lunch? It was yummy!  It was a lunch-t-able!

C: You need to sing the rainbow rhyme.

Me: I don't know the rainbow rhyme, sorry.

C: [whispering]  Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet too! Will you sing it?  I just don't know how to sing it loud.

Me: I'm sure you can sing it louder.

C: RED, ORANGE, YELLOW, GREEN, BLUE, INDIGO, AND VIOLET TOO! 

Colton's in Charge

Beach w/ Bridger 5/20

C: Mom, you have to put the picture of your tummy in my room so I can look at it every day! 

Me: You liked taking that picture, huh?  Do you want to help me take another picture next week?

C: No, I just like pictures of Thomas.

C: Are the babies turning in your tummy?

Me: Yep!
C: And can I see them?
Me: You'll be able to feel them pretty soon.  They're too little to feel right now.

C: And are they nakey?

Me: Yep.

It's COLD in there!

C: Why?

Me: There aren't any jammies in my tummy!

C: *giggles*

C: Mom, you're not in charge.

Me: How come?

C: I'm in charge, because I'm a mom!  And you're the dad.  We're both in charge!



Skater Guy Gets His Skates!

C: It's cold on the ice!
Thanks, Capt Obvious!

C: Mom, there's a hockey stage here!

C: I will never get to play hockey!
Me: Be patient, buddy.  We have to get your gear first.
C: I DON'T LIKE TO BE PATIENT!
Me: Clearly.


C: I'm grumpy because I want to play hockey right now!

Me: We're just renting gear tonight, kiddo.  You start hockey on Monday.

C: When I wake up?

Me: Nope.  In a few days.

C: What are those?

Me: Diapers.
C: Where did they come from?
Me: The diaper store.
C: And Mom, when are our babies going away?
Me: They're not, buddy.  They're coming to stay and be a part of our family.
C: And when they come, I want a new trampoline!
Priorities, priorities.