Colton Yucks It Up

C: What did the toast say to the other toast?
Me: I don't know.
C: Nothing! Toast-es can't talk! HAHAHAHAHA!
(and then several more variations of this same joke)

C: Do you know what a stump-a-saurus is?
Me: Nope.
C: It's a tree with a really big stump!

C: Listen to this joke! (sings the Thomas song, Pop Goes the Diesel)
Trucks are waiting in the yard,
Tacklin' them with ease'll

"Show the world what I can do,"

Gaily boasts the Diesel

In and out he creeps about,
like a winter weasel.

When he pulls the wrong cars out,
POP goes the Diesel!

C: But I neeeeed a drink of water.
Me: We don't have drinks of water before bed.
C: But my tanks are empty!
Me: Good.  Fill them in the morning!