With Apologies to Vegetarians...

C: Let me guess why we're eating chicken.
Me: Why?
C: Because it's getting close to Thanksgiving and we're getting close to eating things that lived.

Colton Earns His Keep

Me: If you do some work on your room, you can earn your allowance.
...
C (finding a penny): Mom!  Today is my lucky day! I earned my own allowance!

Of course I took a picture before helping him

Me (reading folklore): How is this story different than the other stories we read?
C: In the other stories, there's no big wind.
Me (laughing): And how is it the same?
C: The animals talk.

Colton Does Halloween

Colton is Jet-Vac from the Skylanders,
not a chicken like some folks thought tonight.  LOL!

C: I was thinking, since you've been so nice to me today, that you could cuddle me every chance you get.

C: All this Halloween is making me not want to brush my teeth!

C: And remember, Jordan, that I can't run because I only have 4 toes!

Colton in Huh, What?

Me: Why don't you have any clothes on?
C: I got distracted.


C: I found a word that rhymes with keys!
Me: Yeah?
C: Please!  They both have the word ease at the end!

Me (looking in on C, who was looking at the answer key to the word search): What are you doing?
C: I'm looking back here to help me spell.

Colton Logic at Its Finest

Moose kisses!

Me: Aw, sad.  Your skeleton sweatshirt looks like it's getting small.  You need to stop growing.

C: Are you just being silly?

Me: No, I'm serious.  I don't know what I'm gonna do with a big kid.

C: Buy me grown-up shoes?

C, Granddad & Grandma ready to run the 400m!

Me & the monkey Little wet on race day.

Jet-Vac is ready to run!

Dude has been busy!

Colton in the Park with Diamonds

C: Wouldn't it be nice if we had a dog rack to put the dogs?
Me: That's usually frowned upon.


Colton finds a plastic diamond at the park ~
C: MOM!  How would you like to be rich?

C: MOM!  Hold my diamond so I can go play!


C: I knew there was buried treasure there, because there was a hole.

C: I can tell it's real, because when I rinsed it off, I saw it was real!


C: I'm richer than you!
Me: Yeah?  What are you going to do with all your riches?
C: Buy stuff, and pay bills.
Me: What bills does a 6 year old have?
C: When people make you pay stuff to buy stuff.
Me: Yeah, that's usually how that works.
C: Like when Dad bought my bear and took money out of my wallet.
Me: Like when you paid Dad back for buying the bear?
C: It's not fair that people take your money for no good reason!
Me: He had a good reason, you were paying him back!

C: I have $501.10 and do you know how much that is?

Me: $501.10.  And what are you doing to do with all your riches?

C: Buy Skylanders and stuffed animals.  I can buy 14 Skylanders and 19 stuffed animals before I'm poor.  

Colton Makes Me Feel Old

C: Back in the old days, like back in the 80s, people used to send messages in a bottle.
Me: They sometimes still do that.
C: But it doesn't always get to where it's supposed to go.
Me: Right, it's not a very reliable way to send mail.

Me: Were you tired this morning after your late night out?
C: Yeah, you know how hard it is going to school.

C: When is Santa coming so we can talk to him?

Me: In December.  We have to get through Halloween and Thanksgiving first. 

C: NUH-UH!  That's not fair! 

C: The boys are just ruining my track!  

Me: They're not even down here.

C: I mean, they did it earlier!  Without even realizing it!

Me: Sorry, bubba.  You'll just have to figure it out.
....
C: MOOOOMMM!  This is why I didn't want brothers!  

C: When I'm a grown up, I'm gonna get more of this!  (Dad bought C a Green River soda)

The Winter of Colton's Discontent

Me: Sarah will be here in a little bit.  Jason and Jordan are going to the dump.
C: Aww, but I wanted to go to the dump!  Maybe they'll go again tomorrow.

C: Mom? Can we take your car tomorrow?
Me: Sure, I guess.  Why?
C: So we can have the new mints Dad bought.

C: YAY! I'm so excited for winter!
Me: Why?
C: Because it's almost Christmas.
Me: And why are you excited about Christmas?
C: I might get another Skylander! Unless I have them all by then.

Dad: God help us when he DOES actually have all the Skylanders...

C: You know what I learned about homework? I don't have to read to you.
Me: You can read to us, or we can read to you. It all counts.
C: Good, because I don't really like reading.
Me: I like it when you read to me.
C: Well, I don't.
Me: I'll make you a deal, I'll read half and you can read half.
C: THAT'S NOT FAIR!
Me: It's not up for discussion.
C: YES IT IS!

...

C: What are you doing?

Me: Writing to your dad.  You would know if you liked reading.  

Really Colton? Really?

C: Did you really make really real fries?  Because that's what I really wanted!
Me: Really?
(C has never been impressed by squash fries.

C: You know what would be nice?
Me: What?
C: To have a family night.
Me: What do you want to do for our family night?
C: We should all go to a restaurant and have dinner.
Because we never go out to eat.... 

Me: I just want you to know that I will have to take down that train track tonight after you go to bed.
C: Why?
Me: Because we have to eat at the table, buddy.
C: *sob*  Will you take a picture and frame it so I never ever forget it?
Me: Oh sure.

C: They're out of boy toys!
Me: Sorry... You can pick something from what's there, or not.  Your choice.
C: I think I'll just get these mermaids because they're nice to have.
Me: Alright.

Mad Colton Is Mad

Somebody spent two-thirds of the game like this because I was a horrible mom and didn't let him buy something from the team store.... Mind you he has a coat, 2 shirts, jammies, a foam finger and claw, a flag, cowbells, a game puck, a stuffed bear, and I'm probably forgetting something.  Oh, and a souvenir hockey stick.

Dad: It's waaaay past somebody's bedtime.
C: Not mine!
Dad: Look at the clock, what does that say?
C: 7 o'clock!  (it was 10p)

You really can never be too careful watching TV

Zoom! Zoom!

Dad: When you were the twins's age, you used to call Oma & Opa Minum and Pa.
C: HA!
Dad: We're going to go see them in a few weeks.
C: And stay over night?
Dad: Yep, for the weekend.
C: I want to stay a whole week!
Dad: You can't, you have school.
C: Why?
Dad: Because you have school.  But we'll see, maybe during the summer.
C: And I'll try not to get in any trouble.

C: And I'm riding so fast you can't even see me!

A real "pile" revs up and speeds on by ~
C: Wow, that's a really fast car!
Me: No it's not.
C: Why?
Me: Because, it's just not.