Colton's Secret Identity

Decorating Granddad's tree ~ the tongue helps.

C: It's hard for people to tell me apart because I look like a Ninja Turtle, but I'm a human.

C: I know the reason the sushi store isn't open on Sunday is because they have to make more sticky rice.

Part cat?

First tooth!

C: What are you going to ask Santa for?
Me: Hmm, what should I ask him for?
C: Things that give you hugs, so it will remind you of me.

C: I have a secret that Bridger can't know. I'm really a ninja, okay? But you can't tell Bridger.

Sick day 😥

C: I'm already freezing because it's been a long time since I wore this coat, and it needs to get used to the cold.

Second tooth!

Colton Wants a House

Mr. Suave

C: When I'm 13 and know how to drive, can I buy a house?
Me: You can drive when you're 16, though you probably won't have enough money to buy a house by then.
C: If I get lucky, the tooth fairy will just give me $1,000.
Me: Mmm, the tooth fairy isn't that rich.  Usually you get $0.50 or a $1.  Why do you want your own house?
C: So I can have as much screen time as I want.  And also so it's more quieter. So I don't have babies screaming in my ear all the time.  And if I already have a car, and still have money left over, I'm going to go to a place where they have dogs, and get a little dog.  And I'll also go to the store and get some treats, because my dog might like treats.

Second pair

C: I like these glasses better because they're more in style.
Who is this child?! 

With Apologies to Vegetarians...

C: Let me guess why we're eating chicken.
Me: Why?
C: Because it's getting close to Thanksgiving and we're getting close to eating things that lived.

Colton Earns His Keep

Me: If you do some work on your room, you can earn your allowance.
...
C (finding a penny): Mom!  Today is my lucky day! I earned my own allowance!

Of course I took a picture before helping him

Me (reading folklore): How is this story different than the other stories we read?
C: In the other stories, there's no big wind.
Me (laughing): And how is it the same?
C: The animals talk.

Colton Does Halloween

Colton is Jet-Vac from the Skylanders,
not a chicken like some folks thought tonight.  LOL!

C: I was thinking, since you've been so nice to me today, that you could cuddle me every chance you get.

C: All this Halloween is making me not want to brush my teeth!

C: And remember, Jordan, that I can't run because I only have 4 toes!

Colton in Huh, What?

Me: Why don't you have any clothes on?
C: I got distracted.


C: I found a word that rhymes with keys!
Me: Yeah?
C: Please!  They both have the word ease at the end!

Me (looking in on C, who was looking at the answer key to the word search): What are you doing?
C: I'm looking back here to help me spell.

Colton Logic at Its Finest

Moose kisses!

Me: Aw, sad.  Your skeleton sweatshirt looks like it's getting small.  You need to stop growing.

C: Are you just being silly?

Me: No, I'm serious.  I don't know what I'm gonna do with a big kid.

C: Buy me grown-up shoes?

C, Granddad & Grandma ready to run the 400m!

Me & the monkey Little wet on race day.

Jet-Vac is ready to run!

Dude has been busy!

Colton in the Park with Diamonds

C: Wouldn't it be nice if we had a dog rack to put the dogs?
Me: That's usually frowned upon.


Colton finds a plastic diamond at the park ~
C: MOM!  How would you like to be rich?

C: MOM!  Hold my diamond so I can go play!


C: I knew there was buried treasure there, because there was a hole.

C: I can tell it's real, because when I rinsed it off, I saw it was real!


C: I'm richer than you!
Me: Yeah?  What are you going to do with all your riches?
C: Buy stuff, and pay bills.
Me: What bills does a 6 year old have?
C: When people make you pay stuff to buy stuff.
Me: Yeah, that's usually how that works.
C: Like when Dad bought my bear and took money out of my wallet.
Me: Like when you paid Dad back for buying the bear?
C: It's not fair that people take your money for no good reason!
Me: He had a good reason, you were paying him back!

C: I have $501.10 and do you know how much that is?

Me: $501.10.  And what are you doing to do with all your riches?

C: Buy Skylanders and stuffed animals.  I can buy 14 Skylanders and 19 stuffed animals before I'm poor.  

Colton Makes Me Feel Old

C: Back in the old days, like back in the 80s, people used to send messages in a bottle.
Me: They sometimes still do that.
C: But it doesn't always get to where it's supposed to go.
Me: Right, it's not a very reliable way to send mail.

Me: Were you tired this morning after your late night out?
C: Yeah, you know how hard it is going to school.

C: When is Santa coming so we can talk to him?

Me: In December.  We have to get through Halloween and Thanksgiving first. 

C: NUH-UH!  That's not fair! 

C: The boys are just ruining my track!  

Me: They're not even down here.

C: I mean, they did it earlier!  Without even realizing it!

Me: Sorry, bubba.  You'll just have to figure it out.
....
C: MOOOOMMM!  This is why I didn't want brothers!  

C: When I'm a grown up, I'm gonna get more of this!  (Dad bought C a Green River soda)

The Winter of Colton's Discontent

Me: Sarah will be here in a little bit.  Jason and Jordan are going to the dump.
C: Aww, but I wanted to go to the dump!  Maybe they'll go again tomorrow.

C: Mom? Can we take your car tomorrow?
Me: Sure, I guess.  Why?
C: So we can have the new mints Dad bought.

C: YAY! I'm so excited for winter!
Me: Why?
C: Because it's almost Christmas.
Me: And why are you excited about Christmas?
C: I might get another Skylander! Unless I have them all by then.

Dad: God help us when he DOES actually have all the Skylanders...

C: You know what I learned about homework? I don't have to read to you.
Me: You can read to us, or we can read to you. It all counts.
C: Good, because I don't really like reading.
Me: I like it when you read to me.
C: Well, I don't.
Me: I'll make you a deal, I'll read half and you can read half.
C: THAT'S NOT FAIR!
Me: It's not up for discussion.
C: YES IT IS!

...

C: What are you doing?

Me: Writing to your dad.  You would know if you liked reading.