We Do Not Eat Our Coltons

C: On Saturday, I'm gonna go on a date! Heartbreaker! C: On Saturday or Sunday morning, I will be home from my date.  Me: Yeah?  C: Yeah. We have to go 20 or 50 miles. Me: That's a long date. C: No, Dad, you can't eat me today! Dad: Why not? C: Because Mom won't let me do lots of stuff if you eat me. Me: Do you remember what number to dial in an emergency? C: 9-1-1. Me: Yeah, and do you know when to dial that number? C: No. Me: When you need a policeman, a fireman, or an ambulance you dial that number. C: My fire truck has a man! Me: And does he help put out fires at peoples' houses? C: No, he takes care of their plants. Dad: Hey Colton, we're gonna trade you in at the used baby store. C: No, I want to keep being a big boy! C: Dad if you put me in timeout one more time, I'll put you in a nap and not let you come out! C: Hey, can I have some of that eating stuff? Dad: Yes, you can have some of this eating stuff. C: Is it broccoli? Dad: Nope, it's asparagus. C: Can I have some? Dad: Yep!